Wednesday, June 27, 2007

God Bless Texas!

...for bringing us Chicken-fried Bacon!And God bless these tabacco-smokin', red meat-eating, salt-shakin', gravy-drenching folk who are eating it! [The Sneeze]

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Sweepea-TV: If You're Looking for a Date

Kraft is kind enough to provide a FREE -- and hopefully tall, dark, and handsome -- Italian in every package! (Don't know what the picture of the salad is about, but you can't pass up a free Italian!!)

Friday, June 22, 2007

In Steve McQueen News...

In a movie to be made about Steve McQueen's life, Steve's widow Barbara is eyeing Daniel Craig for the lead as the King of Cool. As probably one of the only existing huge Steve McQueen fans, I'll say I like the idea. Craig was hot in "Casino Royale."

Barbara also tells of their first date, in which she was shocked when he started to disco dance.
"He said 'Let's go dancing. And I'm thinking, like getting down, having some fun.' But he took me to a club called the Daisy, and he's wearing white disco trousers and a flowery shirt. I was like 'Oh no' and he said 'Let's dance.' And he was doing (mimes doing disco moves). I don't know whether it was the funniest or most embarrassing memory of Steve."
I think it'd be cute. But then again, I go for the goofy types.

How Disney Cartoons are Made

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Happy Birthday, Hunky Errol Flynn

Inject vodka into an orange to celebrate! Today is our favorite swash-bucklin,' womanizin,' drug-poppin,' big screen hero's birthday!

June 20, 1909 - October 15, 1959"The public has always expected me to be a playboy,
and a decent chap never lets his public down."
"I like my whisky old and my women young."

"It isn't what they say about you, it's what they whisper."

"I felt like an impostor, taking all that money for reciting
ten or twelve lines of nonsense a day."

"Women won't let me stay single, and I won't let myself stay married."

"I've had a hell of a lot of fun, and I've enjoyed every minute of it."

Best 5 Second Video on the Internet

Thanks to SorryIGotDrunk, I've experienced the Best 5 Second Video on the Internet. (Click the picture to experience it yourself.)

Sweepea-TV: Your Kid's Not Cute

Just had to laugh... Apparently a Prudential agent thought it would be cute to put her toddler on her bus stop billboard. See, it says "Do you need a bigger nest?" And her daughter is pointing at us like she's saying it...and...and...yeah, stupid, huh.
Well, I guess someone else agreed because they drew a red mustache and goatee on the kid. Haha.
I wonder if Mom is now regretting the idea of plastering her kid's face all over where people plant their asses and bums take a nap.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Scenes from a Balcony: Scene 3

Today's drama should be called "Oohh...Fi-yah!" Last night the building next door's fire alarm went off. I went out to my balcony to see what was going on and saw that residents were evacuating the building. (As a sidenote, I spotted a few hot guys that live next door. Yee-haw!) There were a bunch of dog owners among them, so the street was filled with dogs barking and the fire alarm wailing.

Then I heard sirens in the distance. The fire station is only a couple blocks away, so they were there in no time. I was lucky enough to snap some pictures from my lovely vantage point on the balcony. Two humongous firetrucks parked right in front of my building, right under my balcony. So I got to see all the firefighters climbing out, suiting up, and heading inside.

Firetrucks to the left of me...firetrucks to the right...
It seems that whatever caused the alarm to go off stemmed from the garage, because after a while they all headed down there and then residents started pulling their cars out.

Then the traffic began. This woman trying to pull in to my building's parking lot drove up and then just stayed there in the middle of the street next to the firetruck, putting on her blinker to signal her intention of turning. The firemen, all inside the building, couldn't move their truck. She got frustrated and just stayed there, blocking other people from coming in to the street. Finally someone got out and yelled at her to move her effing car so other's could pass. I could hear her whine, "I'm trying to get in to my parking lot." What a dumb@ss.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Ghetto Living

So in response to my many Dumpster Dramas, blogtroll was happy enough to enlighten me on Ghetto Living - a series of YouTube videos made by NutCheese. Here's chapter 1, and I have to say, I'll be keeping an eye on these.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

I Was in Hell!

Remember when I recapped my experience as a diner on "Hell's Kitchen"? Well, the episode was on last night.

Just as I predicted I was on it pretty predominantly. If you want to see it again and guess who I was, watch it again on Fox next Monday night at 8 PM. They're showing it again.

To give you a hint, here's the recap of my experience part one, and part two.

Be a Posture Pal!

One of the greatest MST3K shorts around in my opinion. At least, one that's not so annoying you can't sit through the whole thing.

Monday, June 11, 2007

Blog On, Ladies. Blog On!

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly wants to know... and so I answer:

What were you doing 10 years ago?
1. working a temp job as a secretary
2. sponging off the parents
3. trolling the bars
4. driving a pickup truck with nothing automatic about it
5. generally hating life

Five Snacks You Enjoy:
1. Cracklin' Oat Bran cereal
2. Potato chips and onion dip
3. Baked tortilla chips and guacamole
4. Baked tortilla chips and salsa
5. Hummus and pita chips

Five Songs That You Know All The Lyrics To:
1. "Under Pressure" by Queen & David Bowie
2. "I'm So Excited" by the Pointer Sisters
3. "I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor
4. "'Taint What You Do" by Julie London
5. "Pop! Goes my Heart" by Hugh Grant from Music & Lyrics (couldn't resist the additional mention)

Five Things You Would Do If You Were a Millionaire:
1. Have a house in Oregon, one in Banff, and one in Hawaii
2. Move to a condo in San Francisco
3. Create a business out of my home with Pixie.
4. Pay off all my damn bills!
5. Donate to St. Jude Children Research Hospital (sorry, Pixie, I had to steal that idea. You know I love them there!)

Five bad habits:
1. Procrastinating
2. Not going to the gym
3. Losing my keys or sunglasses
4. Not doing the dishes
5. Paying bills late

Five Things You Like To Do:
1. Work on Photoshop
2. Blog
3. Surf the internet
4. Hang out with Dyno
5. Happy Hour!

Five Things You Would Never Wear Again:
1. Netted clothing
2. Mall bangs
3. Dock Martin boots
4. Stretch pants with high top sneakers
5. Two-tone socks

Five Favorite Toys
1. iPod nano
2. Cellphone (LG ENV -- best phone ever!)
3. My car
4. Playstation 2
5. My work computer (when I should be working)

Five people to tag:
1. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
2. SorryIGotDrunk
3. A Job in Hell
4. The Sneeze
5. Lilek's Bleat

Instructions: Remove the blog from the top, move all blogs up one, add yourself to the bottom.
Families Are Like Fudge
A Beautiful Life
Absolutely Bananas
The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
Sweepea's Lounge

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Pop! Goes My Heart!

The movie "Music and Lyrics" is adorable, but the best part is seeing Hugh Grant as a member of the fictional 80's band PoP!. This song has been stuck in my head since Saturday when Dyno and I rented the flick.
I could watch Hugh Grant shaking his bon-bon allllllll day.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

25 Ways You Know You've Grown Up

Or "How to Know When You're Old"

1. Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
6. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up."
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
10. You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door won't turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You take naps.
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again."
23. 90% the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking "Oh Shit! What the hell happened?"

26: You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old ass.

[Editor's note: Yay! Some of them still apply to me! Whoo hoo!]

Friday, June 01, 2007

Happy Birthday, Marilyn Monroe!

"She had the mysterious unfathomableness of a Garbo." -- Joshua Logan

"Anyone can remember lines, but it takes a real actress to come on the set not knowing her lines and give the performances she did." -- Billy Wilder

"She was like a ripe bowl of peaches." -- Anne Baxter

"She was the only gal who ever came close to me in the sex-appeal department. All the others had were big boobs." -- Mae West

"They treated her like a bubblehead, but she was very sharp." -- John Springer

"She was the most marvelous person I ever worked with." -- Montgomery Clift

"She had a kind of fantastic beauty...she radiated sex...she didn't need a soundtrack to tell a story." -- Leon Shamroy

For more about Marilyn's life (and death) read my article on Celebutaint.